Jan 1, 20176 min read

Book Share - The Enigma of Childhood

The Enigma of Childhood has become searched for reading and learning for many working in various areas. I receive very many emails from people - professionals and parents - all around the world who have enjoyed reading my book or whom have reacted to the significances they revealed, which often sparked some important personal insights and awareness. I am invited to provide online courses in different countries. Like:

The Chinese publishing house which translates my book into Chinese and also provide online courses (followed a translator) to the people people of China. We are also currently translating The Enigma of Childhood into Portuguese.

My hope is that you the reader find as much value and interest in my book and enjoy reverberations from the child hidden inside yourself as I did while elaborating them

The Enigma of Childhood combines professional subject matter with examples from everyday life, child observations and treatment sessions. The clear explanations and examples make it a useful textbook and accessible for the wider reading public.

The following groups have found The Enigma of Childhood a valuable resource:

* Professionals: psychoanalysts, psychologists, psychiatrists, social workers and

educators at various levels of training – broadening professional knowledge about theoretical innovations and a custom-made treatment approach based on a greater understanding of emotional mental processes in childhood;

* Professionals dealing with children: nursery-school and kindergarten teachers, school

teachers, caregivers, educators and counsellors – enhancing work by becoming more

familiar with the experience of childhood and the formative events in early emotional

development, with the parents' role, and with the sources of pathological phenomena;

* Professionals treating adults, parents and couples – familiarity with the child reverberating in the adult patient as facilitating diagnosis of normal/pathological behavior, identification of constructive/destructive forces and the stage when motivations/inhibitions were created, as well as tracing hidden recovery strengths;

* Students, interns, and residents in psychiatry, psychology and the various behavioral

Sciences and Academic and university libraries – as a basic and an introductory textbook for understanding the processes of emotional development of the baby from birth to age three, basic concepts, details and monitoring of emotional processes, focusing on Narcissism, Ego’s adaptation/defense mechanisms and Object relations;

* Parents and the wider reading public – interested in becoming familiar with the child

within each person, in understanding one's own children and one's spouse and in improving the couple’s relationship

I would like to share with you a selection of comments and reviews that I have gratefully recieved from those whom have read The Enigma of Childhood.

"The Enigma of Childhood is a profound and fascinating journey into the depths of the child’s psyche, the course of his emotional and personality development, and the formative relationships that touch us all. A warm and heartening book." - Amos Oz, novelist, journalist, and professor of literature at Ben-Gurion University, Israel

"Readers of this book will benefit from Ronnie Solan’s journey in and out of many doors. Scholars and therapists interested in the psychological complexity of child development and its subsequent impact on intimate, interpersonal relationships would do well to not ignore the theoretical conclusions of someone with Ronnie’s broad academic background, teaching experience and extensive psychoanalytic practice working with children, adults and couples. She is an original thinker who has added her voice to those of the most important child development theorists of the past century, including Spitz, Piaget, Winnicott, Bowlby, Erikson, Anna and Sigmund Freud, Kohut, Mahler, and Stern, amongst others".

The Enigma of Childhood is of particular interest to couples, couples’ therapists and theoreticians.

“highlights the unconscious emotional checks and balances that are first formed during the oral and anal stages and then accompany us throughout life—whenever individuals…are involved in a relationship….” She describes how shame may be activated in a couple over the exposure by one or the other of such oral stage phenomena as neediness and dependency or over the appearance of anal stage issues such as the need for control, mastery or obsessive-compulsive behaviors. This is, however, but a small fragment in an impressive undertaking that presents multiple perspectives on how the child hidden within us reflects our childhood experiences.” It will challenge you as it gives you more and new information about what each partner brings to their intimate relationships.’ - Vernon C. Kelly, Jr., M.D. Wyndmoor, author of The Art of Intimacy and the Hidden Challenge of Shame, co-Editor of The Psychology of Emotion in Restorative Practice: How Affect Script Psychology Explains How and Why Restorative Practice Works, and Co-Founder and Chairman Emeritus, The Tomkins Institute: Applied Studies in Motivation, Emotion, and Cognition.

"Brilliantly written, enjoyable read and very important! Dr. Solan does a great literature review so you can follow her ideas about how the first years of life as a child affects how we love, and how we relate as adults. There are lots of books with similar themes, but this one is both scholarly and readable. I recommend it to students, teachers and researchers as well as the lay reader who wishes to know human relationships at a level deeper than that given most pop-therapists. It is a profound book!" - By Robert M. Gordon, Ph.D.

"Ronnie Solan is an excellent training and supervising psychoanalyst. In her new book, "The Enigma of Childhood", the consecration of all her career, she wisely and deeply integrated the contemporary concepts of neurobiology to the freudian psychoanalysis, in a innovative way" - Maria Teresa Fragoso Ph.D. Psychoanalyst and Psychoterapist at Private Pratice – Lisbon Member of the International Psychoanalytic Association

'Lovestoread' says:

"I really like this book so far. I found the author's writing to be penetrating and keenly sensitive. Dr. Solan is a gifted therapist who has offered a brilliant path to equilibrium through the concept of "healthy narcissism"! I found her approach and techniques to be as valuable, and perhaps more relevant than her predecessors Freud and Kohut. I was not a big fan of Freud's drive theory, and thought that Kohut had a more useful approach with his "Self Psychology" method. Still, I am even more likely to use Solan's steps, as they seem to make a great deal of sense. Especially the contribution Solan makes on separation-individuation and the important role parents play in the healthy development of one's self. Also of keen interest to me was the aspect of oral/anal stages, along with parental support. …. The topic is highly important, and indeed a goal of all humans. Build and keep a healthy sense of narcissism throughout life while working through the inevitable "alien stimulation" which occurs to all of us." - Sincerely, Bob Moylan, LCPC

As a father of 3 young children who is living through the constant challenges of "how should I handle this situation", I have been reading through this book and using it as a guide. Not only for the "what" but also for the "why". I feel like a better parent when I understand the longer term impact of how I handle situations.

"The stories and anecdotes are entertaining and I can see how common the situations I am facing really are. I have been recommending this to all new dads and highly recommend it to you!" Phil Sunshine

Some interesting topics in the book:

The Enigma of Childhood demonstrates the importance of being narcissistic in a good (healthy) way and its profound impact on our happiness, decision-making, and relationships as couples and parents. The healthy narcissism is our mind’s immune gatekeeping mechanism which balance between the well-being of familiarity and the alertness to the strangeness. This mechanism while (if developed properly) improves tolerating the otherness and separateness of our fellows.

The Enigma of Childhood scrutinizes the deep reasons why, when we have finally chosen an appropriate partner or spouse, do we risk spoiling the relationship by allowing it to be unconsciously and repetitively coloured by previous traumatic or painful experiences with our parents/other early figures? Why do we tend to repeat harmful choices when they might endanger our happiness and good love relations? Why do we unwittingly tend to repeat with our children injurious reactions that we promised ourselves not to convey? How our capacity to be happy, loved and maintain love relationships depend on our ability to tolerate the otherness and separateness of our partners (like children and spouse).