Fear And Not Feeling Good Enough
This is a feeling that hits all of us at some stage or other, infact I read somewhere recently that its a feeling that stalks most of us - and that sounds more real.
This ”not enough" feeling that can pop up in so many disguises; fear of change and also failure, the fear of being stuck and this is it, the fear of isolation and intimacy, the fear of being insignificant or seen too brightly .. their fear of what other people might say! - there are so many paradoxes that can create the feelings of fear and ultimately not being enough in one shape or form.
So who gets to say what is good enough or not?
I guess that is down to us! It can be no one else - although when we have feelings of inadequacy, or not being enough on one subject or another, we tend to not check in with ourselves, instead we tend to measure ourselves against others, seek approval or bend over backwards to please - as if in some way this is going to help us feel better
and more than rather than less than we already did.
The enough syndrome is created by us - and each time we feed into this, we give our inner critic more ammunition to beat us with all day long which in turn heightens our thoughts of not being enough.
There is also lots of media around that creates meaningless images of what is enough and we adopt those standards as our own, our peers, our siblings, our parents, guardians, teachers and every other person that is in our life - whether that is in actual life or through some media. It all contributes to our thoughts, our beliefs and in turn how we process this into our own self esteem and self worth.
What if you get to state what is enough and you decide right here and now that you are enough already. Just imagine - what would that change for you right now?
It is reported that we have 80 - 90,000 thoughts a day and most of these are repeated day in day out - the constant running dialogue in the background of our mind that is creating how we feel, how we think, how we respond and how we act - so imagine if most of those are negative and self limiting, self defeating - how do you think you are going to be feeling - thats right - pretty much NOT ENOUGH.
Now imagine if you did not have to do anything, did not have to say anything, had nothing to prove to state that you are already good enough - you are already exactly how you are meant to be and that is the perfect you.
What if you get to state what is enough and you decide right here and now that you are enough already. Just imagine - what would that change for you right now?
So, we have already talked about all those thoughts that go round and round in your mind - driven by your inner critic. As Louise Hay says "A thought is just a thought and a thought can be changed"
The first step here is to become aware - to become more and more aware of thoughts as they appear and to gently notice these, make a decision as to whether this is still something that you want to be creating in your life, and if not, to gently change that thought for a new thought.
Sounds easy, however one thought is not going to change the world - imagine each thought as just a droplet of water and each time you have that thought it creates a further droplet - until you have a puddle, that can turn into a pond, a lake and then an ocean -
as your thoughts expand in this way, then change begins to happen. Its a process of making peace with your inner critic, accepting where you are right now without conditions of having to do x, y or z first, knowing that you are doing the best that you can even when sometimes that doesn’t look so pretty. Changes will happen when you let go of beating yourself up and give yourself permission to accept yourself and all that you are, right now.
The more you approve, accept and love yourself the easier this process is. Love really is the miracle cure - loving ourselves creates miracles in our lives. We aren’t talking about vanity or arrogance here, because thats not love - its fear. Its about having a greater respect for ourselves and gratitude for they miracle of our body and mind.
In any one given moment we have a choice between love and fear.
It is each of our responsibility’s to love ourselves and to create the life that we want. Remember responsibility is simply the ability to respond in a loving way.
Author's Bio
Maria is a Heal Your Life® Teacher and Life Coach, Holding Space Facilitator, A Mindfulness and EFT (Tapping) Teacher. My work revolves around making transformations from the inside. We offer classes, webinars, training and retreats all based around community, connection, self-discovery and Self-Care.
